you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
