we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drunk is not a location!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
