Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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