South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
