Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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