yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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