I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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