And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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