Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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There needs to be a lot more clarification here!
Leave the poor dog alone.
...And this, kids, is why it's important to understand grammar.
Animals can't give consent. Duchebag
Dog's will do that, especially when you do it wrong.
How about going to a room you can lock the door and not let the dog watch? Also who calls it a blowie? Hopefully not anyone old enough to be in college.