Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
