You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
