I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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