Someone shit on the floor
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did I show you my penis last night?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's blow job season.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
