hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
