The maid of honor just puked.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize