i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
