so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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