screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize