Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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