who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
