omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize