new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
