i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
