Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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