If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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