Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
