theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
