It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
