I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
