lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
