Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just threw up on my dentist
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
