JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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