oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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