Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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