I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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