So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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