You smell like stripper and shame
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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