could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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