no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
