did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
