dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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