their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.