eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.