My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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