do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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