sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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