yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
