It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
