I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
