Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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