My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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