I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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