I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A bitchslap is in order.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
