I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
