Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
