There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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