We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
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