Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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