im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
