i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
