Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
