3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize