Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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