Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
