They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
