its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
