i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
