In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
